Brave "New" World

Well hello there, it's been a minute eh? Reinventing yourself can be a drag, especially when you are evolving so quickly that you feel you could burst into flames at any given moment. Your skin feels hot, the air vibrates just a little bit, you catch yourself staring off into space leaning to the left side...thinking...but be careful, that resting bitch face might just buy you some trouble. Reflection is a deep and wonderful way to pass the time, and I seem to be doing it more and more lately. it's like sinking deep into a cast iron, clawfoot tub of wonderfully, warm water in a candlelit, dim room. Who was I, who am I, who will I be and will I ever freakin' get there and oh shit I'm there??? Like this is it? I look around at the strong and beautiful Maine women that surround me and think to myself they are the goal. These sage women are what I hope to be when I grow up...umm grow "upper"??  What then and how odd when I realize some are the same age or just a little bit older than me. But how can this be, shouldn't I be able to recognize the age of my sisters? Surely so, I used to be so adept at guessing someone's age, recognizing the nuances that separate the generations. As a photographer, I have had a career-long and intimate relationship with skin and their wrinkles, expression lines, etc.  Years ago, I thought they were something to erase, soften, and smooth. To be fair, a lot of my clientele were not particularly interested in an extremely realistic portrayal of where THEY were in their OWN ish. No matter how young, thin, beautiful my female subjects were, it seemed they all wished to be more, less, different. Never one to change someone's features, I would accommodate, within reason, some "refreshing" so that they looked well-rested but still themselves. I used to think, if that was me I would be so happy within myself. And now you ask, well my perspective is changing and evolving, maybe I am finally reaching adulthood...it had to happen sometime right?!. Maybe that's why I can no longer recognize my age in others or pull out that fun “let me guess your age” parlour trick without insulting someone. My idea of beauty and youth is shifting. I am thinking if you have wrinkles, it means you have laughed loudly and from deep within your soul. If you have crows feet, well, those were caused by the wide smiles of joy and pride from things that made you happy. Every bit and millimeter of those lines have been well-earned and deserved, they should not be something to fear, rather to be celebrated and enjoyed in that warm bath of reflection.  I'm still gonna slather Pond's Beauty Cream all over my mug twice a day, that's never going to change and sometimes I still feel like a bratty adolescent; in that way I won't ever grow up I guess. But when the Pond's stops working and the bratty adolescence is no longer cute, I will wear my stripes proudly and boldly and maybe even with some bright red lipstick to enhance them. And so it goes, we all reinvent ourselves over and over in our lifetimes, it's inevitable. But, don't shy away, let your eyes travel those lines, well-defined or not, read the story of the spirit encased in that perfect envelope of exquisite skin. In doing so, see the roadmap of the intricate and detailed journey each individual, in their own individual way, has taken to arrive at this very point in their lives. Every single mile traveled on that path is beautiful, the wrinkled and the smooth, the happy and the sad, the good and the bad...and my oh my and so far...what a long strange trip it's been.
Cheers,
Sue